


Hungry Tigger

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Library Antics [3]
Category: Winnie-the-Pooh - A. A. Milne
Genre: Gen, Humor, Librarians, Talking Animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 10:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7431579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where, or where, is there first-class protein for a hungry tiger?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hungry Tigger

One morning it was quiet at the library, so Ariel decided to read a book about A. A. Milne’s Tigger to Norene. Perhaps Norene wasn’t as appreciative of story time that day as she should have been. But as the story progressed, Norene thought that Tigger was missing an obvious solution to his hunger problem.

Anyway, the story unfolded that Tigger the tiger showed up at Winnie-the-Pooh’s home. The famous bear asked Tigger what was causing his stomach to growl. Tigger answered that he was hungry and was looking for something to eat.

Now, Norene had always believed what she'd been taught that tigers were carnivores which meant that they ate only meat. She interrupted Ariel to relate that fact, but declared instead that, “Better than anything, Tigger likes--bear meat!” then licked her lips and gave Ariel a knowing look.

Not to be deterred, Ariel gallantly continued reading.

Winnie-the-Pooh joined Tigger to help search for food. The two friends turned up next at Piglet’s house, and the pig was told that they were looking for something for Tigger to eat.

Norene spoke up again and noted that, “Better than bear meat, Tigger likes--pork!” which was followed by Norene’s lip licking and her knowing look.

Undeterred, Ariel plowed onward with her tale, despite Norene's evil grin and sudden interest. Norene was wondering how long it would take before Tigger realized that there was a walking plate of hot, savory pork chops right beside him.

With visions of potential murder and mayhem on the horizon, Norene listened intently as the tale unfolded. This story could become a radical first in the annals of warm and fuzzy children's literature. The rating of the genre could suddenly be changed to Mature, because of the violence and bloodshed. As an unwilling witness to the carnage, the peace-loving Winnie-the-Poo would need therapy, for sure. And Tigger, with a nicely filled tummy, would just need a nap.

Now Piglet joined Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger on the quest for food. Exercise was not diminishing Tigger's hunger any, nor his complaining. Still, his clueless friends slogged along with him as Norene's anticipation continued to build. Any moment now, history would be made.

Then the tale took a plot twist that Norene hadn't expected.

The searching trio met Eeyore the donkey. He, of course, inquired about what was going on with his friends.

At that point Norene began laughing and said, “Better than bear meat and better than pork, Tigger likes a--nice piece of ass!”

Without another word, Ariel closed her book and left for the back of the library with Norene's laughter echoing behind her.

 

Norene never did hear the end of that story. She might well believe that Tigger died of starvation that day. And that his friends, all possessors of first-class protein on their bones, attended his services.

For we all know that Winnie-the-Pooh and his friends were real, and not just the stuffed animals they resembled.

Don't we?

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing of the Winnie-the-Pooh franchise, its characters, its story lines, or anything else created by A. A. Milne.


End file.
